#this is all yall will get from me from now one

[heavyhitterheaux]

Two Little Suspects

See Me Through You Blurb

Synopsis: Y/N and her husband do the suspect challenge featuring her twin brother Ja'Marr

Pairing: Husband!Joe Burrow x Wife!Reader

Requested by: @languageho3 and @hoodharlow 💕

Series Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Sighing as you heard the doorbell rang as soon as you had sat down at the couch instantly annoyed you. Joe was somewhere in the house and probably in his office downstairs going over film and figured that you had to be the one to answer the door.

As you approached the foyer, you could make out the tall shape of your twin brother without even having to see him face to face and quickly opened the door.

Even though he had literally been over for breakfast earlier that morning.

“So, ugly twin has returned. What do you want? Didn’t I just feed you like an hour ago?” You asked as you looked at your phone to see what the time was and he quickly rolled his eyes.

“Move your ass over so I can come in and besides that was breakfast and now I’m here for lunch.”

“Do I look like an all you can eat buffet to you?! Groceries are EXPENSIVE and you and Joe eat like yall have never seen food before in your LIVES.”

“Hmm, not to me but definitely probably to your husband. The all you can eat buffet I mean and um, so? He’s the highest paid quarterback in the league, he can afford it. Where is he by the way?”

“Minding his business which you should be doing sir. You have your own house, but no one would ever know it because you are literally here all the time. And I’m ignoring that first part.” You told him as you sat down on the couch as he sat next to you.

“I came over to see you because I was bored.”

“Well, I was about to watch a movie, but I have another idea.”

“Go on.”

“We’re doing the suspect challenge and I’m making Joe do it too because I have something to tell him. Let me go get him, actually I’ll call him because I don’t feel like walking.”

“Lazy ass. But what do you have to tell him?”

“I will put you out of my house if you don’t shut up. And I have to tell him about this.” You told Ja’Marr and showed him the picture that had been in your pocket as you clicked on Husband in your phone and Ja’Marr’s eyes went wide.

He answered on the third ring which had you confused.

“Hmm? Ignoring me, husband? What took you so long to answer?”

“Baby, I literally spent the ENTIRE morning with you besides you leaving earlier. I just wanted to look at film for an hour and I told you then you could have me for the rest of the day and it just so happens that I’m finished.”

“Good, come upstairs and pay me some attention.”

“What kind of attention? Like? Are you naked right now?” Joe asked as he whispered the last part and your eyes went wide.

“NO! Your best friend is here…. Again I might add talking about he's ready for lunch and getting on my last nerve as usual.”

“Don’t listen to her Joe!” Ja’Marr yelled and you immediately pinched him.

Joe’s laughter boomed through the phone as you could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs. Once he reached the top step, he hung up and made his way to the living room where both of you were to see Ja’Marr now deep in a bag of Doritos and leaned down to kiss you.

“Wait, where did those come from?” You asked him as he was crunching in your ear because he hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch and you didn’t remember buying any Doritos.

“The grocery store.”

“I will…. One of these days I am going to beat your ass for that smart mouth you have. But anyway everybody up and outside!”

“Why?! It’s our bye week! I want to relax!” Ja’Marr whined as Joe was just standing there.

“Because I said so and I’m the boss. We’re doing the suspect challenge.”

“NO.” Joe immediately protested and tried to run away, but you quickly grabbed him by his waist.

“YES! You are doing it and I don’t want to hear any complaints. You two outside, NOW.”

The three of you were now lined up on the pavement in your long driveway and you were up first as you handed Ja’Marr your phone to record it.

“You ready?” He asked and you simply nodded as you took off running.

“Suspect has the attitude of someone who is 6’5, but she’s only 4’11.”

You stopped running as he finished while Joe was trying not to laugh.

“AND?!?! The two of you would crumble without me. Give me that phone. Ja’Marr, you’re up.”

“Be nice to me now.”

“I’m never nice to you anyway, so why would that change? Anyway, start running.” You told him as you pulled down your sleeves because you were starting to get cold.

Ja’Marr did what he was told as you thought of something good to say.

“Hmm, the suspect claims that he comes over to see his twin sister, but is really trying to steal my man.”

“HE WAS MINE FIRST!” Ja’Marr exclaimed as you motioned for Joe to go next even though he was too busy laughing.

“You’re just another one of his groupies! Now come on, husband.”

“Here we go because I already know some wild shit is about to come out of your mouth.” He muttered and all you did was smirk at him as he started running.

“Suspect won’t let me hold it when he pees.”

“NOT YALL BEING NASTY.” Ja’Marr yelled as Joe was too busy laughing.

“Come on, babe. Just one time?!” You asked and your brother looked at both of you in disgust.

“No! And get over here because it’s your turn.”

“Make it a good one.”

“Suspect claims that she doesn’t want kids right now, but that didn’t stop her from wrapping her legs around me last night.” Joe finished and your eyes went wide.

You and Ja’Marr collectively gasped and all he did was pinch the bridge of his nose as you turned to Joe.

“No regrets, my husband is fine as FUCK. Just look at those frosted tips. I plan on wrapping…”

“OKAY, MOVING ON! SPARE ME THE DETAILS!”

“Ja’Marr don’t you want a niece or a nephew?” Joe asked him and he sighed.

“A smaller version of the two of you? I’m going to have my work cut out for me.”

Now it was Ja’Marr’s turn and he was smiling because he was waiting for you to tell Joe the news while Joe was going to record and he got into position.

“Suspect set me up with his sister and then proceeded to get mad when he found out that we were in a relationship and didn’t talk to me for two weeks.”

“AHT AHT! Because the two of you hid it from me! Nice try.”

“We didn’t hide it!” You exclaimed as Joe was getting into position for Ja’Marr to record him.

“You didn’t exactly tell the truth either. Anyway, moving on. Suspect is one of my best friends and because of him this is the happiest I’ve ever seen my twin sister even though the two of them make me sick.” As soon as he was finished Joe turned the camera to the two of you to show him leaning down to kiss you.

“Aww, that was cute. I guess you are okay, sometimes.” You told him as he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t make me take it back.” He told you as you took your phone back to record your brother.

“Suspect is the ugly twin who was found in a dumpster behind Popeyes in a back alley.”

“WE LOOK ALIKE, DUMBASS! And I just gave you a nice one!”

“YOU’RE ADOPTED! So I don’t know what you’re talking about! And I fed you this morning and that was nice of me! I could have let you starve!”

“I got one for you babe.” You told Joe and he nodded as he began to run.

“Even though suspects claimed that I don’t want kids right now, he’s in for a surprise because I took a pregnancy test two days ago and it was confirmed at my doctor’s appointment this morning. He’s going to be a father of not one, but two little Burrows.”

Joe immediately stopped and turned to you with a look of disbelief on his face.

“Are you serious? Baby, are you serious?” He asked as he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

You nodded your head and proceeded to take out the sonogram picture from the pocket of your sweatshirt and handed it to him.

He stared at it for a few seconds before he immediately picked you up and you had wrapped your legs around his waist as he was planting kisses all over your face.

“See? That position right there is why she has two in her. Good lord, I wasn’t ready for one mini version of them and now there’s going to be two?!” Ja’Marr said as he had taken your phone and was now recording you and Joe.

“They’re going to need to pay me if they want me to babysit.”

[ebsmind]

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞, 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐩𝐭 𝟏 ❀ joe burrow x singer!reader

summary : y/n is in cincinnati ohio for a bengals game!!! and guess what? she’s wearing joes number

warning(s) : reader gets drunk (she’s just like me fr) and i think one mean comment

fc : sabrina carpenter

a/n : i always like to write my authors note when im in the middle of making these BUT ANYWAYS i’m back (again) and this time with joe burrow bc i love him. yk i had to do something taylor swift related too 😋 im def making this into a mini series (hence why the chapters are short) but im loving where this is going 💃🏻 i will say it is hard bc ik joe doesn’t have a big social media presence so im hoping im doing him justice in this 🙏🏼 okay im done now BYE I LOVE YOU GUYSSSS 🖤

ynuser posted on their story!

liked by gracieabrams, rachelzegler, joeyb_9 and others

ynuser how the night started vs how it ended

view all comments

user1 PLS THE OUTFIT CHANGE

user2 pookie what are u doing in cincinnati???

gracieabrams y/n can’t hold liquor for the life of her

| ynuser never drinking again.

user3 girl you look HOT even drunk

yourfriendsuser love the dedication to taking a good pic even when ur drunk!

| ynuser thank joe!

| user4 WHO

| user5 WHOS JOE????

| ynuser joe mama

| joeyb_9 ??

user6 wait. she mentioned a guy named joe then joe burrow is in her likes AND she’s in cincinnati?? WHAT IS HAPPENING

| user7 HE COMMENTED

lahjay10_ grainy ass picture

| ynuser i don’t wanna hear it 😔

user7 JAMARR????

yourfriendsuser2 would yall believe me if i told you she started singing LOUDLY from a balcony

| ynuser STOP THIS MADNESS

rachelzegler miss ma’am why aren’t you in the studio?? WE NEED THE DAMN ALBUM

ynuser i have to get some inspo babe 💋 but soon! 👀

liked by user1 and 200k others

ynuserupdates It has been confirmed that Y/N Carpenter is in Cincinnati, OH for a Bengals game!

user1 WHERE???

| user2 she posted on her story 15 mins ago!!!

user3 OMG OMG OMG

user4 so y/n and joe are dating??

| user5 she just followed joe and had been following jamarr for a while tho?

| user4 so her and jamarr???

user6 nooo she’s wearing joes number!!!!!!!!

user7 ITS CONFIRMED THEYRE DATING

user8 MAMA Y PAPA 🙏🏼

| user9 ew no

user10 WAIT why am i loving this 😋

user11 OH THIS NEW ALBUM IS GONNA HITTTTT

ynuser just posted on their story!

new notification

joeyb_9 liked your stories!

[ilyrafe]

𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒆𝒕 ✧ 𝒅. 𝒔.

pairing: drew starkey x f!reader

warnings: miscarriage but its so fluffy yall :((

word count: 1.2k

a/n: this is so shitty y’all i’m sorry djfjdk

pls he looks so cute here

when you said you wanted him to enjoy the moment with his family, he thought it was strange, but he didn’t argue. you’ve always understood how close he is to his family, and this moment in his career is important, you want him to celebrate with his parents, siblings, and closest friends.

you’ve only been together for a short time, and you’re not close enough to his family to be at family gatherings, you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.

“we can celebrate later, just you and me.” you said, sealing your promise with a kiss, before you left his apartment, three days ago.

drew found it strange, but he thought you were just giving him space, which he appreciated. after a lot of family celebration, he went to your place, ready to spend at least a whole weekend, which you loved. there’s so much to talk about.

when you think about it, you didn’t think this thing with drew would go as far as it has been, because his schedule is chaotic and so is yours. when you first met, he was about to go to morocco to shoot outer banks, but he kept texting, calling.

“i know this is kinda all over the place right now, but i wanna see where this is going. do you?”

“i do.”

and that was it. you knew then and there, with only three weeks of dating (online dating for the most part), that you were in love. he’s so sweet, and so silly, too. somehow, you trust him. after being let down so many times, he’s made you feel safe from day one.

you’re not scared to tell him.

you’re on your bed, just waiting for him to get out of the shower. you’re barely paying attention to the tv, you’re just mindlessly scrolling through reels on your instagram, just waiting.

he comes out, shirtless, with damp hair and wearing the sluttiest thing a man can wear - black boxers that fit him just right. he’s such a beautiful man.

“d’you wanna take a picture?” he jokes when he catches you staring.

“you do it on purpose, don’t you?”

“of course i do.”

he gets under the covers and immediately latches onto you, resting his head on your chest. all he really wants is to feel you near him. it turns out, he wanted you with his family. he wanted you there, he wanted to properly introduce you to his loved ones, but maybe you’re not ready and he’ll give you all the time you need.

“i’ve missed you so much,” he says, his voice muffled by your skin.

you smell like french vanilla, and he loves that scent on you. he delights himself in your touch, when your nails lightly scratch his scalp and the nape of his neck.

“i’ve missed you, too. very much.”

he smiles against your skin and takes a long, deep breath, finally allowing his body to relax.

“um… so, i was kind of wanting to talk to you.” you say, trying to sound calm. well, you are calm, but you are also just a tad nervous.

he sits up, no longer relaxed.

“what is it?”

you sigh, look down and extend your hands, as a silent request for his. drew understands and places his hands on yours. your face is serene, but he can tell something is wrong.

“babe, tell me. i knew something was wrong, you were too distant these last couple of weeks.”

you chuckle - you can’t hide anything from this man.

“i’m gonna preface it by saying that i am okay, i am fine, but something did happen, and i’ve debated whether or not i should tell you, and i thought that you deserve to know.”

“you’re scaring me.”

“no, please, it’s… it’s okay. just let me say it all first and then you can speak, okay?” drew doesn’t respond, but you take his silence as a nod. “so, a few weeks ago, i was taking a shower and felt a weird abdominal pain, and then there was blood. i wasn’t on my period, so i got a bit scared and went to the hospital. i had a few tests done and found out… um…” you trail off, because this is surprisingly hard to talk about. he lightly squeezes your hands, encouraging you to keep going. “i had a miscarriage.”

oh.

wait.

what?

“a miscarriage?”

“i didn’t know. the doctor explained that it was common for women to have a miscarriage before even knowing they were pregnant.”

drew is quiet, absorbing the whole information. you were pregnant, and didn’t even know it. you had a miscarriage and he wasn’t there for you.

“why didn’t you tell me? i would’ve taken the first flight back to be here with you.”

“i know you would, that’s why i didn’t.” you explain, kissing the back of his hand right after. “also, i needed to figure it out by myself first. i was shocked to learn through a miscarriage that i was pregnant. it was a lot to process.”

“i can’t even imagine. but… how are you now?”

“i’m okay, i promise. i have one last appointment next week.”

“i’ll go with you.”

“okay. that’d be great, actually.”

he sighs, a bit relieved. at least you’re okay.

“i thought you should know because, well, i was pregnant. and if nothing had happened, i would still be pregnant, and i know it’s early, we haven’t talked about these things and i’m not pressuring you to do or say anything, but i still wanted you to know. felt really wrong to keep this from you.”

“no, you did the right thing.” he says, kissing the back of your hand. “i’m just sorry you went through all of this alone.”

“it’s okay, though. i wanted you to be the first person to know. and maybe the only one. i don’t think we should tell anyone else about this. like, it’d be just… pointless.”

“right. but, uh, if you do want to talk about kids, we can.”

“oh?”

“i mean… i’ve thought about it.” he admits. “i’m the eldest of the family, my mom has already started asking me for grandbabies, she says liliana needs a cousin.” you giggle. “but at the same time, the life i live today wouldn’t be possible with a kid, if i’m honest. i barely have time to sleep, let alone raise a child, and if i’m meant to have kids, i want to be there.”

“when i would think about children, i thought about pregnancy and how i needed to avoid it like the plague during my teenage years,” you laugh. “even when some of my friends got pregnant, i never really saw myself in their position, you know? i guess it wasn’t a priority for me, and still isn’t, but… i’m not ruling it out.”

“i’m not either.”

“so… there’s that.” you shrug, relieved that it all went well. “thank you for listening, i was a bit nervous.”

he nods, completely enchanted by you. he wishes he could navigate difficult topics the way you do. so natural, so easy. you seem to have your shit together and he’s so jealous of that.

“you can always tell me anything.”

“i know.”

“if something like this happens again, tell me. i don’t want you to go through anything bad alone ever again, okay?”

you nod, letting him hug you. oh, you love him.

“we’ll have plenty of time to talk about it and other stuff, too.”

i love feedback! let me know what you think!

[kurishiri]

Jude chapter 2 silly but kinda detailed summary

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ any pretty translation you may see in here may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. this is a sort of summary as well. if you enjoy, though, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

for some ungodly reason jude and ellis r in kates room the moment she woke up and judes not lookin very appy hes like how long r ya gon sleep for ya bloody pleb and ellis is like haaii gm kate 🌸✨✨ and then jude like “get ready in 3 seconds” while holdin her chin. again, for some reason lmao

ok turns out we goin to their other jobs at a company called raven co

and ellis tells kate they got shops overseas too (wow jude got a boomin business) and they sell stuff in a lotta places and allat jazz. anw some dude greets kate and the others and thinks that kate is ellis gf. kates like umm no and hes like so ur the boss’ gf?

then he gets judes boot before kate can reply and judes like

Jude: It’s all yappin’ with ya so early in the mornin’, I see.

J: If ya gonna yap useless things, how ‘bout ya use that mouth o’ yours to do a bit more o’ your job?

J: If ya want a pay cut though, that’s a separate matter.

turns out the dudes name is theodore walker. 21 y/o. employee. first impression: bright dude

so kate asks ellis what his role is and hes like “hmm lets see, being a guard, preparing for guests, confirming clients, brewing up a storm…” and kate here thinkin wait a damn minute i have a feeling i heard smth real violent just now and then is like do you do anything else and well ellis responds with more violent words with a 😊 face. kate is like i thought i got myself into an evil org then jude comes in like

Jude: Well this evil company’s boss got some work cut out for ya.

she gotta sort out these letters (a loott of letters…) and judes like “if ya worked as a letter carrier ya mustve had to sort out letters before gettin breakfast”

ok so apparently judes kate just blurts out things w/o thinkin 💀 bc this time shes like well if hes gonna make fun of me (jude calls her princess but /neg) then challenge accepted! and then is like “ok bet i will get this done ez pz 🍋 squeezy” and judes got that shit eatin grin on his face like “that ya will do by the time i get back”

they r indeed still in their enemies era. her only saving grace now is ellis’ kind smile. ellis to the rescue! ⛓️🫶✨

omg ellis is actually an angel here he helps kate when he can sorting out letters and hes like gj today kate. you managed to do sm on ur own, u should be proud of urself and kate is like hes so kind… (yes he is!)

ah yes we cant escape the ellis is sweet as jam™️ allegations here

kate asks ellis why he joined crown and tldr its bc vic reached out to jude and jude said ok

Kate: But did you have to get caught up in all this too…?

Ellis: But——he made a promise with me.

As he said this, Ellis’ eyes narrowed softly.

Kate: …A promise?

Ellis: I’m waiting for Jude to reach the happiest moment of his life.

E: And I need to be by his side to see that moment.

[ insert some lines im too lazy to tl here ]

Ellis: But, it seems that moment just doesn’t want to come. …It’s like Jude is always unhappy.

jude comes in the door like yall so damn annoyin and is like stop yappin bout she don’t need to know. but ellis is like but its her job as fairytale keeper. and kate is like “i have a question for u too jude! why do u have ellis by ur side?” jude responds like “none ya damn business” but one tinie push from ellis and jude lets out a resigned sigh and speaks on it and is like hes got physical strength and a good ability. cant let that sorta value slip by. that said his heads got some screws loose so

and kate is like omg! he answered me!!

(So Jude has Ellis by his side so he can use his abilities at his convenience,)

(and Ellis wants Jude to fulfill his wish, I guess?)

They kept one another by each other’s side to help realize what the other wants.

——If I were to put into words what their relationship would be, it would be ‘a contractual relationship.’

That was the day I had gotten my hands on valuable information on Jude for the first time.

ko-fi☕️ ┊ comms🤍

NOTE: i forgot to mention that i can take comms to tl judes main story chapters, avatar mission stories, and his side stories in full, as ciele, the one whos gonna tl his story, said that i could tl chapters from his story too. the turnaround time per chapter is usually around 1–2 days from the time i start it. (for jude it might be closer to 2 days.)

[blvdymary]

Lying Is A Sin

pairing: Thomas Shelby x (OC!) Anastasia Ivanova

Summary: Can a man really avoid who he truly is for the sake of love?

Genre: Infidelity & drabble.

Word count: 650

Note: GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM DEAD!!!!!! also sorry yall i wanted to write something about my oc for once LOLL I MISSED YOU ALL SM!!!!! also had a little name change teehee

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

Thomas Shelby, a man known for having many affairs with women in the past, was now a married man. This was shocking news to everyone who lived in Birmingham. Although it seemed like he loved his wife, Elizabeth—or, as we all know her, Lizzie—a man can’t change in one night, can he? Not even Rome was built in a day, so what was the reason he had decided to change now? Well… he had a dirty secret, like everyone does.

It was 9:45 p.m. on a warm summer night at an extravagant ballroom overlooking the sea. An event hosted by the aristocrats of England was in full swing. Although Tommy wasn’t an aristocrat himself, he was invited by the host because of his reputation around the country. There he was, his wife linking arms with him, enduring a dull conversation with wealthy men from other countries. Even though he wasn’t enjoying the discussion, he was certainly enjoying the view of the duchess sitting beside one of the men.

He had caught her looking at everyone at the table. Her eyes, like the darkest pits of his twisted mind, were utterly fascinating. Needless to say, one glance from her, and anyone would be lured in as if she were a siren.

Lizzie noticed the way Thomas was looking at the duchess from across the table. She leaned in slightly, speaking in a hushed voice, as though the duchess’s gaze could somehow hear her.

“Who is that woman? She’s got those bastards wrapped around her finger.”

Tommy chuckled internally, keeping his expression neutral except for a slight smirk. He spoke in the same low tone as Lizzie.

“Well, that, my darling, is Anastasia Ivanova. I don’t know much about her other than the fact that she’s evil in her own way,” he said, his gaze fixed on the duchess’s lips.

By 11:36 p.m., the so-called “party” had reached its peak. Thomas could see drunk aristocrats dancing, laughing, or simply getting more drunk by the second. Now, he wasn’t going to pretend he was innocent—he was also quite drunk. But he could hold his liquor better than these people, that’s for sure.

As he strolled across the ballroom with a glass of whiskey in hand, he felt a strange sensation, like he was being watched. Shivers ran down his spine as he looked around for the source of his unease. He spun in place, scanning the room, until he noticed her. The grand duchess herself was staring him down with an intense gaze.

He’d be lying if he said she wasn’t attractive. The drunken state he was in only made her seem more… appealing. Before he knew it, he was walking toward her with intentions to… chat.

As he stood in front of her, he couldn’t help but notice her thin, tall frame. With each passing moment, his desire grew stronger. He smirked, staring at her as he spoke in slurred words.

“So… Miss Ivanova… why don’t we get to know each other, hmm?”

“How about we get to know each other in a more secluded area?” she replied. Her voice, like a symphony to his ears, filled his mind with wicked thoughts. Her words, though restrained, were enough to tease him to his breaking point.

He took her hand, glancing around to ensure Lizzie was nowhere nearby. He spotted her laughing like a madwoman with other aristocratic women, clearly drunk. Perfect.

Turning back to Anastasia, he looked at her with pleading eyes, as if silently saying, “Come with me, please.” She gave him a silent nod of approval with her charming smile. Without hesitation, he led her to one of the many rooms in the palace, proving, in fact, that he wasn’t a changed man—just a better liar.

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

taglist: @hiraethberry @1-fuzzy-squirrels @justcallme1anangel @tejasvkris @rosierosem @meowsicles39

[jiminy-crickets]

i dont wanna spam yall, so ive decided to only reblog this when i have a lot of things to say. lmao this sat in my draft from the second i posted that last update, here's more.

FUCK I CLOSED THE TAB AND I GOT THE POP UP but find the quote from his coach about how his personality would make him hate being treated differently. CAN SOMEONE WITH AN ATHLETIC/NYT SUBSCRIPTION PLEASE FIND THIS QUOTE FOR ME.

and connors quote "is butternut squash a nut"

and prev tags "#he's allergic to peanuts and tree nuts #like severly allergic how does he eat at “health” restaurants??" it's interesting that you bring up "health restaurants", because that's the only place he eats, he has NEVER eaten fast food¹..... and yeah, 'healthy' resos are FILLED with nuts, he had an allergic reaction and went to the hospital the night before what should have been the finals in 2020 at age 14, and the next day, dispite being in the hospital the night prior.... he laced up, and he was going to play..... AND THEN HOCKEY CANADA ANNOUNCED THAT ALL JR HOCKEY WAS CANCELLED BECAUSE OF COVID, oh yeah and not only had he never eaten fast food but "people close to him aren't sure he's ever had a cookie"

and like what i said a few reblogs ago, connor and his family temporarily moved to sweden so he could continue training during covid. why do i bring this up again, because when he was at the north american players media tour back in september one of the videos they recorded was for nhl europe and they asked the players to read phrases and words in different languages..... and they didnt put connor in the swedish video!!!! and he was there!!! he was even in videos for the other languages and they filmed them all at the same time..... I WANT TO SEE HIM FAIL AT SPEAKING SWEDISH!!!!!!

There's an entire PROCEDURE for requesting signed sticks and shit from him, that's how many requests for them there have been, the only people who don't need to deal with the middlemen are fellow players. Brady Tkachuk asked Connor to sign a stick for a charity event their last game (the one on the 17th of february) and he did indeed sign one for Brady. (source, i am listening to the radio broadcast of the sens chicago game from the 28th of march)

this next quote gets me GOOD, like oh my GOD!!!!

she [connor's mother] says, if you were billeting with someone right now that’s what they would say, Connor. They’d say, who raised him? And it’s my job as a mother to prepare you. And one of the best 17-year-old hockey players we have ever seen says to his mother, completely seriously, “Don’t feel bad, mom. Madi turned out great.” May 5th 2023

connor please i am BEGGING YOU, you turned out amazing.

i think this is all the things i have from last season, i'm gonna make a new reblog for things from this seaon, but it'll be a while until i'm ready to post it.

¹ as of november 2024, we have confirmation that connor has eaten at TWO fast food restaurants, but its subway and chipotle so... barely counts.

what the tabs look like, of a normal girl, who is doing normal things, and is not thinking too hard about 'gifted' kids and the downfall of an adulthood no one prepared you for

[rebka18]

one draft idea done more to go i had this for a long time

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?

thank you so much !!

i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]

and the obligatory bonus:

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

did yall think i was being facetious? think again!

-the Heaven's unofficial blessing-

[note: this is chinese history rpf not tgcf. it is not about your favourite struggling homosexuals. it is about a different set of struggling homosexuals altogether. you're still welcome to read it though!]

"—and where is the Duke of Pei County?" asked Zhang Liang, "I'd like to see him." 

"Oh, uh, certainly, Sir!" cried General Fan Kuai with a rapidly sinking heart. “It’s just that, well, you see…” He quickly cast an eye around the camp as subtly as he could manage, trying—and mostly succeeding—to not look like a retainer whose liege lord had just run off like a randy hunting dog. Shit, shit, shit, but this was on him, let’s be honest. Never assume Liu Bang will stay in the same spot you left him. The fucking Yellow River was less capricious.

"My liege is overseeing the eastern supply depot,” Xiao He lied fluently. Heaven bless the man, he even managed to sound perfectly officious in spite of his stuffy nose, “Sir, why don't you join us for some hot wine while I send a runner to inform him? Duke Liu will make time immediately, I'm sure--" 

Zhang Liang raised his hand and pointed behind them, "Could that be him over there?" 

Fan Kuai didn't need to check if it was Liu Bang or not. Xiao He's frozen expression told him all that he needed to know. The general took a fortifying breath and slowly turned around, as happily as a man being held at sword-point. What he saw made the amicable smile congeal on his face. 

"It's…really too far away to tell," Xiao He said weakly; at the same time, Fan Kuai let out a stifled but very emphatic, "Oh fuck me." 

"I think it is him!" Zhang Liang said cheerfully, pointing out the small figure wandering across the distant hillock. Of the three men, he appeared to be the only one who wasn't appalled or even surprised to see Liu Bang—the new Duke of Pei County, beloved leader of the rebel forces and sworn brother to the fearless Lord Xiang Yu—on his hands and knees, rooting through the mud like a prize-winning sow.

Xiao He made a valiant last stand for the sake of their collective dignities, "the wine, Sir, will be getting cold—”  

"Duke Liu of Pei County, I presume?" Zhang Liang called out in greeting. His soft, lilting voice barely carried over the din of the infantry and horses. For a miserable, hopeful second the two retainers prayed that Liu Bang wouldn't be able to hear him—but bugger them all, Old Liu's wandering attention had a way of picking up the most minute details when it was least convenient. 

"S'goin'on," Liu Bang answered with a toss of his handsome head and a perfunctory bow, all done without getting up. He flashed a winning smile in their general vicinity and went right back to his excavation. 

"Good, he doesn't look busy," said Zhang Liang, "I'll give him my regards now," in a flash, the strategist had tied up his trouser legs and was picking his way through the quagmire. The two retainers exchanged a helpless look of commiseration and quickly followed suit.

The muddy hill proved to be no obstacle for tall, gracile Zhang Liang, who floated over the muck as gently as a soap bubble. His hosts, who were both portly men more inclined to grow sideways than upwards, were left behind to slip and slide in every direction except forwards, all while clinging futility to each other’s shoulders and biting back muffled curses. 

Xiao He nervously dabbed the sweat from his brow as he stumbled along, cheeks aflame. He had served as an indispensable secretary for three magistrates and wrote calligraphy while still in split-pants. He was uncustomed to such ignominy and looked like he wished the earth would swallow him whole the next time he fell flat on his arse. Fan Kuai could sympathize, he wanted the same thing—except with Liu Bang. This was their one chance to impress a local hero, and now it was all going to dogshit because Liu Xiaoer couldn’t do as he was told for half a fucking sichen. 

Zhang Liang, who was nearly at the top, suddenly stopped in his tracks, as if he just noticed he dropped something. He quickly retraced his steps and came back down the hill to help the floundering Xiao He. The strategist was far too slight to act as much of a counterweight, but he made surprisingly effective progress by laying a steadying hand on Xiao He's elbow, and directing him where to step. It improved Fan Kuai’s opinion of him, but not by much.

“Do you need help, too, General?” Zhang Liang asked pleasantly, pausing to hold out a slender white hand that looked like it had never done anything more strenuous than grind ink. Fan Kuai gave a monosyllabic response to the negative, and the hand disappeared back into its sleeve, though the strategist’s bland smile had not budged an inch. 

After what seemed like an epoch of struggling, they finally rounded the hump and came to a plateau that was tolerably dry. The rainwater had been coaxed downhill by the persistent wooing of gravity, and both men breathed a sigh of relief to have solid ground under their feet at last. There was Liu Bang, the colossal pain-in-the-arse himself, staring intently at two deep, parallel furrows in the ground. The gently sloping hill was covered by these jagged trails, stretching at least three-quarters of a li east and west. Each one was around two hands deep and mathematically regular. They were wagon-wheel tracks made by the retreating Qin army six days ago. Their passage had savagely gouged out the wet mud, and the sun had baked it solid, turning the field around them as wrinkled and craterous as the face of a one-hundred-year-old man. 

Liu Bang was kneeling on some dusty, yellow clay, now rendered brick-hard by the sun. He was trying to dig up—or rather, chip away at something with the aid of a twig—and had been going at it for some time without much success, judging by the pile of broken sticks beside him.

When the group appeared in his line of sight, the duke looked up with a smile and cried, "Ah, Secretary Xiao, there you are! Just the man I wanted to see!”

“My liege?” Xiao He panted, trying to retrieve one of his shoes which had been sucked off by the mud.  

“Here,” like a magician performing a trick, Liu Bang produced a bundle of dirty roots and pressed it warmly into Xiao He’s hands, “I got some wild ginger for your cold.” 

“My liege—” Xiao He protested weakly, probably because he didn’t want to go back down that god-forsaken hill with gravity working against him and one hand impeded, but this was interrupted by a phlegmy chest-cough which rendered his argument moot before it could be voiced—so he was left standing there with his arms outstretched, shoe in one hand, ginger in the other, and in the span of those five coughs, Liu Bang’s attention had already packed up and moved along. The Duke turned to Zhang Liang and said solemnly, “Strategist Zhang, on behalf of the Chu Kingdom, we are deeply honoured to welcome your presence again.” 

“Likewise, Duke Liu.” 

“What’s mine is yours, Sir, you need only ask. Chu is eager to help you in any way in order to fight our common enemy.” 

“Your generosity is greatly appreciated, my lord.” 

Fan Kuai let out a sigh of relief. All right, so that wasn’t a total unmitigated disaster. He had been a little apprehensive that Liu Bang wouldn't recognise their guest, he had only spoken to Zhang Liang once in passing, and that had been at Xiang Yu’s extravagant banquet two months prior. Well, jokes on him; Old Liu never forgot a face. The speech itself was faultless too—he just wished the bastard didn't have dirt smeared on his nose. 

“Nice weather, eh?” Liu Bang blew a few loose strands of hair from his eyes. He was no less sweaty or flushed than his men, the only difference was that exertion looked good on him. Handsome buggers like Liu Xiaoer were born with that aura about them, Fan Kuai noted with a touch of angry fondness, it was the one degree of difference that poets used to separate the florid jowl from the rosy cheek. He was also no less dirty than the other men; the only difference was that he did not give a damn and, thus, was quite content. 

Liu Bang caught Fan Kuai’s eye and grinned unreservedly, as if he’d been waiting all day for him to come along. His smile shamed the sun, and Fan Kuai felt the edge of his own mouth creep upwards without his permission. The general frowned harder to compensate. Fuck, it was hard to stay mad at Liu Bang when he was like this. The man's excitement rubbed off like coal dust. One touch and everyone had sooty faces. He had been jealous of Liu Bang, once upon a time, back when he was an attractive, popular, charming boy. The sharp edge of resentment had long been worn smooth by age and intimacy. The years hadn't improved Fan Kuai's own looks, but it had given him wisdom. His childhood feelings had been rooted in fear—fear of being tossed aside like an old toy after this beautiful scatterbrain got bored of him. The thirty years they had spent together had proven otherwise. Liu Bang might get bored of games and objects, but he never got bored of people. 

The Duke of Pei County turned his head to wipe his sweaty brow against his shoulder. It was the same habit he had preserved from childhood, except now his eyes had crow’s feet, his hair was more grey than black, and there was a real sword hanging from his belt instead of a stick. 

"Lost yer keys, did ye?" Fan Kuai grumbled, switching to the informal ‘you’ to make a show of displeasure. He shrugged off the pointed look Xiao He gave him. He didn't give a dog's arse that the so-called genius could hear them bicker. Their 'fearless leader' was literally wiggling in the dirt like a fucking worm, what was there left to salvage? They hadn't so much as lost face as drop-kicked it straight off the edge of a cliff.  

 Liu Bang only grinned in response, "gotta knife?"

Both men answered without hesitation. Years of fielding Liu Bang's non-sequiturs had made them very mentally agile. 

"Unfortunately not, my liege."

"Fuck no," growled Fan Kuai, "and even if I did, I wouldn't let ye dig around the dirt with it!" 

Xiao He looked like he wanted to dive head-first off the proverbial cliff, after their proverbial dignity, "General, please mind your language…" 

"Aw, what a shame," Liu Bang clicked his tongue thoughtfully, "See, the ground's packed solid but I think I can get it out if I had the right tool..." 

Fan Kuai rolled his eyes, "just use yer sword." 

Liu Bang laughed "Old General Fan, it's always blunt force with you! I might chip it if I do that." 

"—and ye still haven't told us what 'it' is!"

"My lord," said Xiao He, endeavouring to get a word in edgeways, "we have a guest here—"

"My hair! Of course!" Liu Bang shouted; his delight was so violent that Zhang Liang, who had been hovering in the background, silently watching the show with his unblinking owl eyes, flinched and covered his ears. 

'So much for a military genius,' Fan Kuai thought wryly, 'the only thing that white-faced little wimp is good for is a bed-warmer. He wouldn't last two seconds on a battlefield—' and then his attention was monopolized once again by Liu Bang. The duke had pulled out his ivory hairpin and was using it to scratch the clay crust with tiny, careful strokes. In spite of his annoyance, Fan Kuai couldn't help but be impressed. In a world where most people thought in straight lines, Liu Bang's mind was capable of moving sideways. Four-fifths of the time, it was a right fucking hassle that led them down all sorts of convoluted paths, but that remaining one-fifth was worth staying around for. 

Xiao He winced, “My liege, I seem to recall that hairpin was part of your wife's dowery."

The blood drained from Liu Bang’s face "Oh, shit…" After a moment of consideration, he set his jaw manfully and resumed his digging, "fuck it, it's already chipped. Ain't no point in quitting halfway, I gotta see this thing through till the end." 

"You're a braver man than me," Fan Kuai muttered; the mere thought of Liu Bang's wife, Lu Zhi, had him subconsciously slipping back into the formal ‘you’. Heaven might have failed to bestow Fan Kuai with looks or charm, but he definitely lucked out in marrying the other Lu sister. 

The hairpin began to grind against pieces of half-buried gravel with a hair-raising screech. The sound made Zhang Liang leap backwards as if he had been burned; his entire face was scrunched up in extreme distaste as if the awful sound was assaulting all five of his senses at once, not just his hearing, but smell, sight, touch and taste as well. 

Fan Kuai laughed rudely. Call it pay-back for the impromptu mud bath or whatever, but that little white-face deserved to be knocked down a few pegs. To his disappointment, Zhang Liang did not seem to register the insult, or even his presence for that matter. He had eyes only for Liu Bang. Far from being angry, the strategist seemed to grow more and more excited with each pass of the hairpin. Nothing showed on his oddly blank face, of course, but he was leaning forward at an oblique angle that was growing steeper by degrees, and his hands were fluttering slightly in his sleeves. Fan Kuai was not easily given to flights of fancy, but he thought he saw a ghostly fire dancing in his eyes. Suddenly, the rumours about Zhang Liang being a wizard seemed a little less implausible. 

"Got it!" Liu Bang gave a triumphant hoot and held aloft his prize. 

General Fan Kuai had made a careful show of being aloof up until this point, but now he pushed forward to see it. The dirty object was no bigger than Liu Bang's palm, it was flat and circular, with a square hole in the middle. It looked like a big version of the First Emperor's half-liang coins. A length of frayed, muddy string was tied to one end. The four men recognised it immediately as a jade pendant, the type that fancy gentlemen were supposed to hang on their waists—something they couldn't afford, even if they pooled all their money together. 

"Nice!" Fan Kuai bellowed, clapping Liu Bang on the back. No need to call in the oracle, this was an auspicious sign if there ever was one! 

“A lovely find, my liege,” replied Xiao He evenly, “shall we make our way back now? We can celebrate with some hot wine—”  

"I was following a rabbit over on that ridge yonder," the duke grinned, "Old Fan, we gotta set some snares later, I have a mighty hankering for stew. It'll go well down great with the wolfberries I saw—anyways, the rabbit ran off, but I saw something glimmering over here, so I came up for a look. Good thing I did, eh? All that hard work paid off!” 

A pale, delicate hand reached into the midst of their circle and paused in front of Liu Bang, palm held up expectantly, “Duke Liu, may I wash it for you?" Zhang Liang asked, his head tilted to one side in a bird-like manner. His other hand held a water gourd that Fan Kuai could have sworn up and down had not been there before. 

"Sure, thanks!" Liu Bang was as friendly with strangers as he was with his bosom friends, "is Sir familiar with gemstones?" 

Most people—experts, that is—would have done a whole song and dance about how they were talentless mediocrities who would sully the noble art of gem appraisal if they tried their hand at it. Zhang Liang just answered seriously, "Yes, I am." 

"Great, then can you tell me what type of jade this is?"

Zhang Liang took his time washing Liu Bang’s pendant, gently rubbing the carved groves with the tip of his forefinger. After satisfying some standard apparent only to himself, he held it up to the afternoon sun and examined it with one eye half-shut. The jade hung suspended between his fingers, dripping and sparkling like a piece of heaven that had fallen to earth, "this is serpentine." 

To hell with the complicated jargon, "Is it valuable?" Fan Kuai asked eagerly.

Zhang Liang gave him an infuriating half-smile, "No."

"Why not?" Liu Bang cried, looking offended on the jade's behalf, as if it was his darling little daughter being rejected by a suitor, "what could it possibly be lacking? It's elegant, polished, and has a ton of character! The outside is round like Heaven, the inside is square like the earth, and look here, it’s got these two blue lines running through it, just like the Long River and Yellow River! Now that’s a good luck charm if I’ve ever seen it!" 

"All that is true, but beauty is not what makes a gemstone valuable,” Zhang Liang replied, his smile growing exponentially along the twin axes of opaque and infuriating, "Scarcity is what makes it valuable. Everyone covets what no one else can have. A piece of mutton-fat jade is worth ten times its weight in gold because it's hard to come by, not because a white rock is inherently more lovely to the eye than a blue rock.” 

Fan Kuai snorted rudely. Sure, he knew next to nothing about jade or whatever nonsense Zhang Liang was sprouting, but he could smell a huckster from thirty li away—in no small part because he was in-laws to one of Pei County’s finest ones, “And I suppose we should just leave this ‘worthless’ piece of jade in your reliable hands?” 

Zhang Liang handed the pendant back to Liu Bang without looking twice at Fan Kuai, “It is not mine to keep. Besides, General Fan, I did not say it was worthless.” 

“You calling me a liar, Sir?” The ‘Sir’ was enunciated in the same tones as ‘shithead.’

“I'm saying you misunderstood my meaning, General. I did not say it is worthless, I said it had no value.” 

Liu Bang was enjoying the absurd discussion immensely, “But jade is jade, Sir. That’s why it’s valuable. Not only does it ward off evil, it’s also very useful. It’s extremely hard and doesn’t tarnish, so it’s good for pins and cups. People even used it for weapons in the olden days before bronze.” 

“Yes, but it is not inherently worth as much as we pay for it," Zhang Liang replied. "It is valuable because we agree it is. Imagine what would happen if precious gemstones grew on trees,” Liu Bang grinned at the mental image he was painting. “The value of jade would plummet overnight. People would still use it of course, for the reasons you stated, but it would no longer be a precious item that costs many strings of cash. Children would use it to play knucklebones. The First Emperor’s Heirloom Seal would be no better than a pickle weight.”

 “A pickle weight!” Liu Bang laughed uproariously, slapping his knee. In spite of his good humour, the stubborn set of Liu Bang’s chin told Fan Kuai he wanted to argue the point further but could not think of a good rebuttal. Fan Kuai wanted to help, but was equally at a loss. The whole thing felt wrong, like someone saying up was down, like a fundamental truth was being questioned. He almost said, ‘You could sell the jade,’ but to who, exactly? Even he could spot the holes in that logic. Everyone already had it, and jade had limited uses as a practical item. It wasn’t something that could be consumed either, like firewood, or an extra joint of pork you could salt up and hang in the cellar.

“I suppose the analogy is like counterfeiting currency,” Xiao He mused, coming to their rescue. It was amazing how gallant a fat, balding man with a runny nose could be, under the right circumstances, “if there is too much cash in circulation, it will devalue the official mint.”  

“What he said,” Fan Kuai agreed confidently. 

“You can certainly see it that way,” Zhang Liang replied, but his eyes were still boring into Liu Bang, like he was hoping to strike a secret wellspring somewhere inside him, but a wellspring of what, exactly? “Duke of Pei County, if you wish to sell this pendant, do not accept an offer of less than ten strings of cash. That is my final appraisal, should you choose to accept it.” 

“I trust Zhang Zifang wholeheartedly!” said Liu Bang warmly, he rubbed his bearded chin, “but I’ve decided I won’t be selling. It doesn’t seem right to give this jade to someone who only cares about how much money it’s worth. They won’t appreciate it’s beauty like I do. Besides, I was the one who got my hands dirty, I deserve a little keepsake for the effort. It'll make a funny story to tell my grandkids, if nothing else.”  notes:

haha this one was really on the nose guys, but what i can i say, subtlety is not my middle name: liu bang is able climb out of the quagmire and obtain the 'mandate of heaven' because of his opportunistic nature, stubbornness, willingness to get his hands dirty, and some very talented, ride-or-die friends.

Liu Xiaoer: "second-son Liu" childhood nickname based on birth order. Can also be slang for "waiter," given how in-demand he is. I think his more "official" nickname should be Liu Erlang, "Lang" meaning "handsome young man".

"little white face" 小白脸-- twink/ boytoy / kept man.

wolfberries: fun fact, the word 枸杞 sounds like "dogberries" in chinese but it actually a different word. in any case, it still fits the extended dog metaphor, hell, he even digs out the jade with a piece of ivory, which is a fancy tooth!

Fan Kuai is married to Lu Xu, younger sister to Liu Bang's wife, Lu Zhi. man im really enjoying building up Lu Zhi's entrance like she's the secret final boss. yes, it doesn't escape my notice that people seem more scared of her than the actual fucking qin army.

banliang round coins with square holes were standardised during the reign of QSH. A jade pendant in this shape would have been highly unusual (i've never seen one) but there's nothing inherently unlucky/taboo about it (and tbh it's just here for the metaphor) so I'll give it a B- for historical accuracy.

blue and green were called the same thing during this time period 青.

the chu-han contention is rapidly becoming the heartwarming human interest story of a bunch of people coming togather to help a guy with unmedicated adhd ace his job interview

[dizzybizz]

hawthorne sprite HAWTHORNE SPRITE!!!!!!!! yippee

[avocado62524]

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive come to realise that i dont actually hate kubokai, i just hate the way people write them

[berrisweetsiren]

SO. It's. BEEN ALMOST A YEAR??? Hi guys!

I wanted to come back and update some things that have been going on since Febuary as things have...................I don't know if "escalated" is the right word- but definitely changed. So, for most of the Spring and Summer things have been going about uh? As well as they CAN be given the current state of things. Our dad is back home and things have been relatively calm (although which the occasional argument about finances, but thats just personal stress lol) This Fall has been mainly spent on a helluvalotta doctors appointments, and moving things forward in terms of trying to apply for disability.

That being said, like I said, things have...changed.

At the end of last week our family got a letter billing us for $37,000 to fix a bunch of piping that connects from our house to the main waterline. And, unfortunately, we have until April to get that sorted out. ( A reminder our household consists of One (1) able-bodied individual who's unemployed, a disabled trans man, and another disabled retired judge- affording this bill would be next to impossible without sacrificing alot of our livlihood. )

Between this and a few other behind-the-scenes issues with the borrow we live at, my dad has decided we need to move before then. And...while he did agree to help fund rental on an apartment, I know very well he does not have much income right now to do so. Fox, my boyfriend, still also has been unable to find work in our area despite reaching out for months on end (We're coming up on year 3 of unemployment, wahoo!~ /s) So while unfortunately we'll still be within our family's...reach for quite a while longer, we still are struggling financially to get everything sorted out and live comfortably. HENCE this update. If theres anyone- anyone at all- who can spare some money or any knowledgeable resources in regards to moving and such of that nature, please do let me know. I'll be updating the GoFundMe with both a new goal and the updated story tomorrow morning (as its 12:30 AM right now and I don't want to think about this more than I have to.) Even reblogging to spread the word would help immensely!

I know everyones exhausted of the GFM posts. I know we're tired. But community is all we have right now. I don't think I would've gotten this far in the year were it not for my friends and support systems... so we all need to stick together if we're going to make it through this alive. Thanks yall for reading. Stay sweet. <3

Help A Disabled Trans Guy & His Boyfriend Find Emergency Housing!!!

https://gofund.me/32d65c06

Hey guys. I normally don't make posts like this because I know full and well how broke most of us are, but I'm...In serious trouble.

As of this past Monday, my father plans on evicting both myself and my boyfriend out of my family home, as well as our two cats Tango and Nebula. Regardless of whether or not he changes his mind, we do plan on moving out as we no longer feel safe staying here for longer than physically neccessary.

As a result, we've been apartment hunting, and we need your help with monthly bills and funds until my boyfriend can get a job of his own (I'd get a job myself however I have really bad Chronic Fatigue and muscle atrophy in my legs, making it difficult to work). I've been denied disability a handful of times now despite this, and my boyfriend has been denied food stamps despite making little to no income each month.

Normally, like I said, I don't make posts like this. I'm chronically terrified of asking too much of people but...this is a serious emergency for the both of us.

So if you could go support us over on gofundme, and help us raise enough to afford an apartment of our own until we're stablized, that'd be amazing. Of course, don't feel obligated to- but every little bit helps. <3

I might also open comissions up soon to help raise money as well, so be on the lookout for that!!! (I'm trying to stay positive here, help.)

In total generally for an apartment that both ourselves and our cats can live in in our local area comes to about $1400-$1600 per month, so I rounded it out to about $2000 to also be able to afford things like grocceries, and amneties. (I think thats how that works, right?)

Thanks for reading everyone, and I'll be posting updates as the situation develops.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

another Unnecessary Purchase sorted and jarred!

[anhonest-puck]

every time i talk to my older mutuals i feel like i’m being held up by the scruff like a cat and examined. this is a good thing btw i just thought of it in the car and thought it was funny :3

(this may or may not be aimed towards @desire-mona …….. i feel like a creature in the silliest way possible If That Makes Sense /pos)

edit: how. how did my dumb sleepy ass forget to tag the othet tqo. @todds-diary and @perksofbeingpoet see i put yalls names in the tags but blanked out?? listen i was very sleepy eepy it was one am 😞😞 i hope yall dont mind being tagged SHHDJSJSJ)